Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Rick Riordan: Thor Needs a Reminder. Or Five.



MagnusChaseGodsAsgard200The second book in Rick Riordan's Norse mythology series (Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard) released today so get ready for some binge-reading once you've got The Hammer of Thor* in hand. 

True to Riordan form, book two is stuffed with mythology and action then slathered with a nice thick layer of clever wit.  Thor (the flatulent) has once again lost his hammer, putting the world at risk and also missing out on it's superior ability to stream his favorite television shows.  Lucky for him, Magnus Chase and his friends are not adverse to heroics.

So how does Thor keep losing his hammer, you might ask?  Good question.  More importantly, what can be done to make him stop doing that?  Here are the solutions Rick Riordan came up with:

*Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, Book 2 The Hammer of Thor is an editors' pick for the best kids' books of October.

Top 5 Methods to Keep Thor from Losing His Hammer

The gods of Asgard would like to thank everyone who submitted ideas to our contest: Top 5 Methods to Keep Thor from Losing His Hammer. As you know, this is a recurring problem for the thunder god. Since we need Thor to have his great hammer Mjollnir when the final battle of Ragnarok arrives, we appreciate any and all input on how to keep that stupid thing – sorry, that fine weapon – from getting stolen by giants, left in the backseat of Thor's chariot, or mistakenly sent to the dry cleaner with Thor's laundry.

Without further ado, here are the top five submitted ideas for preventing Thor from losing his hammer ever again:

  1. Attach it to his wrist with a cord. Yes, the trend these days is toward wireless technology, but without a cord, it's much easier to lose your tech. Ear pods fall into the toilet. Phones slip out of your grip and shatter on the hard floor of the Viking longhouse. And hammers get misplaced! It may not be trendy, but it's time to use an old-fashioned hardwired connection and tie that hammer to Thor's hand. Sure, this may cause problems when he needs to throw his weapon and the thunder god goes flying along with it, but it's better than being weaponless! – submitted by Silverthread, purveyor of fine accessories for weapons, Alfheim.

 

  1. Use a simple memory trick. Let's train Thor to remember the fun acronym GLYPH. If he can do this whenever he goes somewhere -- whether he's breaking camp in the wilds, heading to the bathroom after a drinking bout with the einherjar, or preparing for a mighty expedition against the giants -- an easy memory trigger will ensure he never forgets his most important stuff. GLYPH stands for Goats, Livery, Youth Apples, Pants, Hammer. This would ensure he remembers his valiant friends Otis and Marvin, his livery (i.e. chariot, armor, and other riding equipment), his apples from the goddess Idun to keep him healthy and strong, his pants (if you have ever been unlucky enough to see Thor walk into a room when he forgets these, you require no further explanation) and last but most importantly, his hammer. The only possible downside to this method: We have to remind Thor that GLYPH ends with a PH and not F. If he forgets, he might start picking up Freya and carry her everywhere he goes. —submitted by Mrs. Thackeray, 4th Grade Teacher, Eriksson Elementary, Minnesota. "The Fighting Vikings."

 

  1. GPS. Duh. Install a GPS tracker on the hammer, for goodness sake. Wait . . . what do you mean that only works in Midgard? Fine! Install nine GPS trackers on the hammer, one for each of the Nine Worlds. That way . . . Huh? There's no global position system in Jotunheim? How do giants play Pokemon Go, then? And you're telling me the trackers would short circuit in Muspellheim and Niflheim due to extreme temperatures? Gah! Uh . . . all right, fine. Let me get back to you on this. Submitted by Gimlel son of Maggie, IT Support Dwarf, famous among IT Support Dwarfs, Nidavellir.

 

  1. Use a secondary weapon, preferably a rifle. If you ask me, you should never go into battle without an assortment of weapons. I know Thor has his metal staff as a backup, but I think it's time we commissioned the dwarves to craft him something just as powerful as Mjollnir, but harder to lose. I'd recommend a rifle, since those things are so long you can't really forget whether or not you are carrying one. Next time Thor forgets his hammer, he could simply shoot his enemies from afar. Or if he needs to charge up any hills in battle, he could fix the muzzle with a rune-enchanted bayonet! And, you know, if Thor ever feels like he doesn't want this super-powerful rifle anymore, or just wants somebody to take care of it for him, I would cheerfully volunteer. – submitted by Thomas Jefferson, Jr., private, 54th Massachusetts Regiment, einherjar, Valhalla.

 

  1.  Energize Thor's memory through the power of positive thinking. Often we forget things because our minds are so cluttered with unimportant daily worries. We lose sight of our goals. We lose track of what we really want. Thor can break out of this self-defeating spiral through the power of positive thinking, as detailed in my new book: Positive Thinking: The Positive Way to Think. Even Thor, as forgetful as he is, can remember to take his hammer everywhere he goes if he simply affirms this goal to himself every morning, repeating a simple mantra such as: I am powerful. I will make a difference. My father will kill me if I forget Mjollnir again. With this program, Thor can realize his full potential as a thunder god and also stop embarrassing me, which is my own positive thinking goal. – submitted by Odin, All-Father, Asgard.

 

 

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